Secret Stash 225

 AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh! SHeeeeeet! snail mail comes in tomorrow... DAMN USPS app, i shouldn't have downloaded it (actually it is pretty nifty - the app allows the user to see the outside scan of incoming mail before the delivery, but now, it only brings pain).  I feel a combination of nervousness and excitement, yet in all sincerity, why should I even bother? What is done is done; I have played my part and no longer have control in the outcome. Destiny has been written, for the result is sealed within that tiny letter. This is how Harry must have felt right before the wizard hat chose his sigil for Gryffindor. How I felt on the release date for my cat test. How Zion felt before they rolled the lottery to see who would draft him (haha get NOLAed). How Kanye felt before they read the election results. How Godzilla felt before peeping his head out of the Tokyo waters, and finally, how Thanos felt after snapping. We can all relate to these experiences... but fk it. I'ma h...

TO: Future Me      It is the hour of the owl, for midnight is only 20 paces away. "The only exception" by Paramore turns on an infinite loop (it's weird how songs will bring you back to the moment that you first listened to them - this is a topic for another time though). Tomorrow is the day of reckoning. The merit of my achievements and my character will be put to the test (if I can convey it well that is).     Saw a movie this weekend A Knight's Tale  (truly amazing). It contained all the aspects required to create a phenomenal story: courage, honor, love, and humor. The main character, William, was a mere peasant boy who pretended to be a knight. He risked his life for an opportunity (gotta risk it for the biscuit, I need to take more risk). With the opportunity, he spent every waking moment honing his skills to become a jousting champion (I need to be more dedicated to my craft - this procrastination won't do). Not only did William rise from the sludges...

Swim cap on and goggles strapped. Before you lies a calm pool of icy water.... what are you waiting for? Just jump. Got a clean suit and tie on. Resume in hand and interviewers are only a set of doors away... what are you waiting for? Just jump. Notes are pulled up and the question is in mind. The professor's door is only 2 minutes away... what are you waiting for? Just jump. Music is loud and drink is in hand. Strangers all around you... what are you waiting for? Just jump. Microsoft word is open and the page is blank. The paper isn't due till next week but what are you waiting for? Just jump. All these scenarios are the same. Hesitation is always present in the first step, but once taken, there is no stopping us. Any action that involves an unknown possibility will lead us to freeze and a thousand scenarios are played in our heads. Second guessing is no vice though, for it is an instinct that guided our ancestors between life and death. As the times changed, we moved into the...

FAAAuaarrkk... I was doing so well but the lizard brain always seems to get the best of me. It's as if I am stuck in an endless time loop (infinite genjutsu). I have yet to escape the cycle. If we know exactly what it takes to succeed and improve, then why the fuq can't we consistently do it? If we know studying helps you ace the exam then why do we keep getting distracted and do everything but study? If we know playing while injured will make it worse, then why can't we stop? Why do we suddenly stop taking cold showers and reading when we've been doing it consistently for 2 months? WHY did I DOWNLOAD TIKTOK AGAIN...what the DEUCE? It's as if we are choosing to fail... but who the fuq would consciously choose that?? No one; thus <insert> LIZARD BRAIN We have natural human instincts and urges in which I will refer to as Lizard Brain. It is a primal part of our mind that craves instant gratification. It only cares for Netflix, scrolling social media, videogames,...

It's been ages since I have taken up the pen. All is well. Lately, I have not been hesitating to eat out and my training has become more consistent. I have just finished watching Squid Game 10/10 mind boggling show (the kind that makes you question your own morals). It's too bad they killed off my favorite character (WHY !?.... i aint watching S2 if they dont bring her back to life). Anyways... the show took place on a secret Korean island where contestants played 6 games of life and death to win 45 billion won. The contestants all came on their own free will - most of them crazies or criminal scum. Yet, among the rubble, there were still honorable people stuck in the most desperate of times causing them to enlist themselves for the sake of their family. First, we have the main character #456 - an absolute piece of sht. A grown, unemployed man who steals money from his dying mother in order to gamble it away. Unambitious, hesitant, and pathetic at first. Throughout the show, we...