Secret Stash 225

Update: 3 weeks into freedom and I haven't looked back. Sunshine and blue skies every day. AYEEEEEEEEEEE!! So this is TRUE freedom (I feel like Ba - I dont even remember the days of the week anymore). I have taken up a new hobby of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and so far, I LOVE IT - a sport of honor, strength, & strategy (... settle down, only been to 1 practice so lets see how it goes). IDGAF by BoyWithUke runs on loop. I have been reading the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and damn.... he was true philosopher king. He lived by code of honor and character. A true stoic in every right. Marcus never fell prey to the pleasures of life despite being the emperor of one of the greatest empires in human history. The man spent his days ruling with benevolence and wisdom. He studied the great philosophers and Roman law. Marcus was known to be a profound athlete - wresting, ball, etc. The emperor spent his days sharpening both his mind and body - the greatest (yet he was so humble). He never l...

 Update: I write this at my desk in the early afternoon (first time home at this hour in ages). Good Riddance by Green Day runs on loop. Dear Future Me,      Today was suppose to be liberating, but all I feel is pain. Now, I know what it feels like to say your last good bye. The comradery, relationships, and memories created will stay with me forever. BRUH... it was only 8 months lol, so why does it sting so much (like a graduation). The clinic had been a big part of my life - spending 40+ hrs a week there. Seeing and working with the same people everyday, but now, its over just like that. Nobody died but it sure felt like it haha (probably never see most of them again :(      It seems we never really appreciate things till they’re about to end. In the meat of it (bad term but whatever), I didn’t take the time to be grateful for the people and wholesome experiences happening each day. During my last 2 weeks though, shiiiiiii.... I was so happy to w...

Dear Future Me, Life has been swell. There are only 8 days left till my liberation. I feel happiness.... but there is a tinge of longing and sadness as well. The full brunt of feelings has not hit me yet; we will cross that bridge when the time is right. As for now, I must speak of another matter that has crossed my mind. (I am writing this from Notion - so far it appears to be a very organized and productivity boosting) Thus, I can crank out more passages and only post only what I deem fit. Future Me, I have come to learn that it is possible to be too strong . After reading this parable, I have experienced a paradigm shift. “ I heard my mother asking our neighbor for some salt. I asked her why she was asking them as we had salt at home. She replied: 'It's because they're always asking us for things; they're poor. So I thought I'd ask something small from them so as not to burden them but at the same time make them feel as if we need them too.'” Wow... truly...

Today seemed like a wasted a day. I squandered my time doing nothing, or I did something that did not matter. It contributed nothing to my future or my betterment. I did not learn and did not grow; in truth, it seemed that I regressed today. It has been a while since I had a day like this... I mean everyone has days like this right? I had much planned, but now as I look at the clock, the hour of the owl draws near. Time to toss in the towels and call it a day. Damn the thought of a warm bed feels so comfortable. NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo! I MUST do one productive thing. Just 1% better everyday... for the Future me. Tomorrow will be even better! I promise. It's been 2 weeks since I've hit the gym (them knees had enough rest). 10 Days till freedom, but the grind starts now. I have begun to ramble... it is late. The night calls for me.