Secret Stash 225

 Dear Future Me,     I've just finished volunteer camp the other day, and I can assure you that these next 4 years will be an adventure! The city beams with life at every hour and our classmates are incredible people. There are people from all ages and every area of the map. Welcoming, friendly, highly motivated, all 200.     My excitement for school hahahaha.... lets see how long it lasts.

 Update: First off... CONGRATZ to the lil bro! May you accomplish great things in life and have the strength to grow even stronger! (forgot your gift at home oops haha)You've grown throughout the years; the world is changing you, I can see it. As you enter the world (full of life but in a malleable state), life can be tough at times, but I hope it will not defeat your unrelenting spirit and energy (I listen to Welcome to the Black Parade in your honor). Never grow bitter and never despair. Your fam is always here with open arms. 

A strange idea came across my mind (from a Nietzsche post while scrolling Instagram reels xd.....) What if "the life we live right now is not experienced once but an innumerable amount of times". Every past and future decision not only determines this life but our eternity. Once this life ends, it starts again from the beginning... exactly the same. All the unlived life, fears, joys, sorrows, loves, heartbreaks, regrets, and choices all to be felt again for an eternity. Over and over again. Knowing this would we choose to live differently? The 2nd time around it would be like re-watching a movie. We know exactly what happens, but do we look forward to all of it? Some of it? There's no saving it for the next life; no redo. Every decision weighs infinity. "All the unlived life stuck inside you forever..." The never spending enough quality time with your family, the always taking the safe path and avoiding risk, the too scared to try new things, the never opening u...

 Update: AYEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LETS GOOO! The pieces are falling into place; big moves are being made. Big city here we come. On a side note, I fixed my sleep schedule (for a couple days but it has returned to the dump). I also prepared dinner for the fam in preparations for my self sustainability phase, and bruh.... cooking is damn difficult. I tried making quinoa and that sht taste like... poop LOL (very healthy though so i am not going back to rice ever). Book Review: Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (chose this book because it was on Goodreads Top50) The initial 1/3 of the book was extremely slow and boring; I had to force myself through it - like watching paint dry; however, once the characters were developed and the plot was set up, I couldn't put the novel down. Sht was JUICY. It was very well written, but in truth, I WAS PISSED! I hated all the characters and how it ended. [still 4/5 read though] Bro...I have never despised a villain character (Heathcliff) so much in my life. ...

"She asked me, Son, when I grow old Will you buy me a house of gold? And when your father turns to stone Will you take care of me?"         -Lyrics to  House of Gold by 21 Pilots I write this to my mother in honor of Mother's Day.  Dear Mom,     Thank you. Thank you for all the butt whoopins as a child. You were the tiger mom we all needed (LOL). In all seriousness though, thank you for always being there for us... for sacrificing your education to make our childhood vast with experiences. The zoo, the hot hair balloon festivals, swim team practices, the backyard picnics, the free reading programs at the library, the free movies every Tuesday morning in the summer, basically anything free  - we remember it all. You taught us the mindset of hard work and determination; second place was never enough (neither were B's), no slacking or giving up EVER. I hope you know that you were never too hard on us (we needed it lol). We love your energy;...

 I have been influenced by the great modern philosopher Ali Abdaal; one the biggest regrets of his youth was not having written reflections about the books that he read. He notes that it is important to record how certain books affect you at the time that you read them. Books hit differently at different points in life, and looking back, its true. I can read summaries of old books but cannot recall how I interpreted them in the past. I will never be able to recall the raw emotion and zeal to which they have influenced me. Thus, I will begin recording the effects of thy books read. Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens was the best mystery (one of the only I read in this genre kekw) I have experienced. Recently, it kept me up till the AM hours of the night and destroyed my sleep schedule for the week. The main character, Kia (aka Marsh Girl), grew up in the coastal swamp ghetto of the Carolinas. Society scorned her family, and her family all abandoned due to their abusive father. H...

Dear Future Me: I'm no longer getting my ass whooped in jiu jitsu (not as bad at least). House of Gold by 21 pilots runs on loop (one day Ma) The way we perceive the world and our situation revolves solely upon our state of mind. No matter how sore, fatigued, or exhausted you are, the way one perceives their quality of life in that moment is based on the mind alone. I write upon this topic after a sudden burst of inspiration; it occurred whilst i was in the shower. A slow and unproductive day was suddenly inverted within seconds.  I am FULL OF LIFE despite the day coming to an end. The urge to learn , do, and improve is LIMITLESS. Clear laser cut focus that could slash diamonds... was it the oranges? or maybe its my prime time during the night? who knows. Thus, how can one capitalize on this current state of mind and enter it consciously? One would have limitless power if they could access this source of energy (their bankai). Figure 1. Focus Man.  Since he was a young lad, fo...