Secret Stash 225

Dear Future me,      I write this from a computer that is not my own. Right as my life seemed to be on the right track, I wake to see the world in a frenzy. Life is interesting. I was about to be free too haha.... (they asked me to stay cuz the candidate for the interview never showed) As I was about to get my wings, they are already clipped. Life throws a curve ball? What a time to be alive...      Random thoughts heha. This is a new kind of worry for me - one that I have no control over. It is the unknown that bothers me; a future that I cannot securely predict. War? Draft? Destruction? (My father lived through something like this... a strong man). With COVID, at least I understood the mechanisms and modes of transmission. It was in my field of study, for I knew exactly how viruses worked and multiplied. It was a despicable force, but it was one that I knew we could survive. Therefore, this global tragedy is a catastrophe that I know nothing of. I am at a...

Update: Today was a good day, and all is well again (Ctrl+Z in real life hehe). Sometimes I forget how young I still am. Life has barely even begun, and honestly, I wouldn't consider it started till next fall when I get my wings. If we were playing the board game 'Life', it would only take 2 turns to reach where I am lol. This year for me is like a limbo, or better yet, another year to experience and learn a little more. (Year of the tigaaaah, extra blessings?) So far... much has happened. Met new friends and formed a loyal band of brothers, fixed my knee and started hooping again, worked my first full time job, got accepted to my dream school, fell in love (and out but then did a 360), and now, I got 5 months to do whatever the fk I wanna do YEEEEEEETTT! I am planning to learn Spanish (often patients at work cannot speak English, and I can only handle the viet ones). Imma master writing viet too (time to watch viet medical dramas to learn some new terms haha :) No procrast...

Dear future me, Its finally hitting me... this sht sucks bro. I'm sitting in some random ass parking lot with sad music on max. Sunglasses on but it's not even sunny (you know why). Feels like someone died but not really, just no longer part of my life. Bruh I'm still being tough and smiling for those around me but fkkkkksjdjrnjx when I'm alone, hits me like a bus. It was never bitter or hateful but it was for the best.The highs were higher than mountains but the lows were like crators. We were from different planets, and at first, it was exciting to explore. She showed me her world and I showed her mine. Small town girl and city boy (haha the song was true). But our differences started to show, and it was clear that sht was gonna go down. Yet, we tried to solve them and clung to whatever we could, but the answer was to simply let go.  Fking allergies ... making my eyes water Whatever... I'm man. Time to go home and pretend nothing is wrong

Update: Numb Little Bug plays in the background - my exact mood.  Dear Future me, it was a beautiful day, but the world is reflection of our current mind. Thus, despite the chirping of birds flying free in the vast beautiful blue sky, my sky was gray and buzzing like the TV static of a broken chamel. Atleast I got a new hoodie from the homies (and advice) - I know they always have my back no matter what. Damn it hurts right now though (like myocardial infarction) ... but hey thats life. Live, learn, and grow. I will be leaving a lot behind. I have grown much in the months working here, for I have met many amazing and inspiring people. Now of course there were rough and rainy days, but I hope the memories will be of the sunny days filled with smiles and laughter. (A few bad moments cannot cloud the shine of a thousand good ones) In a few weeks, I will be free. A new sun will shine! I can already taste the freedom - breathing in the fresh morning after sleeping in (*exhale of restful...

Update: Love on the brain by Rihanna swoons in the back ground while I lounge on an astounding piece of foam (God bless the inventor of mattresses). The dim glow of mellow red bluetooth bulbs illuminate the walls. Life has been swell as of late. The struggles with my knee continue to course like that of a roller coaster. We got ass whooped today in basketball, but we need it to grow (especially me I gotta get my cardio up + that layup package). I continue to improve at work, but tomorrow, I must make a big decision (more like an announcement).  I was meant to free myself immediately upon securing my acceptance, but for some reason, I stayed. I didn't want to abandon my teammates, so I fought with them through the storm. Now that the sky is clear once more, we must part ways. I yearn for the months of freedom. There are hobbies to pursue, places to see, and sleep to catch up on. ...yet why is it so hard to leave? Nothing is stopping me. In plus, I want to be free, but I can't br...